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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?